17/8/2022 Trump takes the FifthI’ve written a lot about what Trump has said and done over the years, particularly in respect of his negotiation style and strategy. Unsurprisingly, one thing I haven’t written about is him keeping quiet... Trump isn’t a man who leaves you wondering what he’s thinking. He’s a brash, in your face, ‘push you into doing what he wants’ sort of a person.
He uses words - all the time and in a never ending tsunami. He repeats the same words until the message becomes a meme, an earworm, until people start to think it’s true. What he does is to set the tone of the conversation. If you can’t meet him at his intensity and his volume then quite simply you’re not going to be heard. So of course I, like so many other people, was struck by the heavy irony of him ‘taking the fifth’ in respect of the on-going investigations. Can you imagine if Trump did use silence; if he just didn’t say anything? With his reputation, the other person would get to say their piece but all the time be thinking ‘what has he got planned??’ There are many uses for silence, including just to throw the other side off balance. For me the most powerful use of silence as a mediator is when I ask an open question and then say nothing. Just let the stream of consciousness unfold before me, find out more than I ever would. As Jacob Coldwell puts it in his book Listen Simply, let the speaker be heard and be known. No need for active listening techniques, or other dressing, just be present in the moment, to listen. We never come away from a conversation poorer when we listen; that’s when we often find the nuggets. For that reason silence really is golden. Not sure though Trump has got the real hang of it just yet. Comments are closed.
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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