When parties are at loggerheads, neither are prepared to move, negotiations stall. Once any momentum has been lost then it can become increasingly difficult to resolve a conflict.
During the Cold War, Charles Osgood developed a bargaining strategy to assist in the gradual reduction in tension (GRIT) between two parties Last night there was an interesting interview with two German football pundits. For them it’s just another game. There is no big history of allegedly ‘humiliating defeats’ at the hands of ‘the old enemy’. Their big grudge matches, he said, are against the likes of Italy.
Humans have a very natural habit towards creating ‘Us and Them’, and there can be some quite fickle ways in which we group ourselves and ascribe intentions to those we see as ‘Them’ - even on the flick of a coin! See my previous article.
Turns out there is more than just psychology to this. 24/6/2021 Who will Extend the Olive Branch?Pettiness seems to have reached new levels when you see the picture of the tree that has stood between these two houses for 25 years.
When many people think of persuading someone that their view is wrong, they will very often think about gathering the evidence and the facts, from Google or elsewhere, that prove their argument, forcefully putting them to the other side and letting the sheer weight of opinion do the work. How could someone continue to disagree in the face of such overwhelming evidence?
But there are far better ways, as shown in an interesting study involving MMR ‘anti-vaxxers’ (parents who refuse to allow their children to be vaccinated with the MMR vaccine due to worries over alleged side effects). 18/6/2021 The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read - and how it can help in you in negotiation and mediationI’m currently reading The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did), by Philippa Perry, the psychotherapist who happens to be married to the artist Grayson Perry. It’s very much worth a read.
Given how much of raising a child is about trying to find ways around things, it’s not too much of a surprise to see that the way the book approaches the subject links in with the psychology of negotiation and mediation.
We all know how random the result is in Heads and Tails, we know the outcome is not something we can influence or predict with any certainty beyond knowing it will be one of two results.
And therefore I’m sure we’d all find it hard to think that a flip of a coin could make us feel more or less warmly towards someone - purely because of whether a coin landed heads or tails. But that’s what research has found. |
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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