My Naïve Realism means I know I’m right and you’re just plain wrong. Yep, it’s as Black and White as that. In my own mind, at least. And yours too. What happens is that we all see the world through a lens but our brains tell us that we’re seeing reality. And the lens has a series of filters, biases, pre-existing assumptions, that means what we think we see might not actually be what we really see. Or, perhaps more importantly, what someone else sees.
And that’s why Naïve Realism, the notion that we have an objective truth, and can apply it as it is to the World, causes so many arguments and disputes. Clearly this happens a lot in litigation, negotiation and mediation. One way to deal with this is to not only look at the matter from the other side, but try to argue that they’re right. A lot of people tend to be afraid of doing this, worried that they are doing the other side’s job of convincing them of their position, and then they will fold to whatever demands the other side is making. But the truth is that learning the arguments for the other side gives you firmer feet, it helps to understand why they feel as they do. Yes it might lead to empathy, that might lead to a movement towards resolution, but it does not mean a capitulation. And given that humans are hardwired to reciprocate, seeing you move, if communicated in the right way, often and usually leads to movement from the other side. The start of settlement. But the first thing it needs is to realise you don’t always see the world as the world is. Sometimes you need to adjust the lens you see it through. Comments are closed.
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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