After over 40 resignations from his Government, and still hanging in there, I saw Boris Johnson was described by one Tory MP as being like a cockroach in a nuclear apocalypse. I immediately thought of people I've dealt with in mediations; those who refuse to see the writing on the wall, those who believe if they keep saying no then they will, against all the odds, buy themselves some sort of leverage, or time for a miracle to happen. They can be difficult people to deal with. I find I have to work so hard to build rapport, some common ground with them in order to start having the hard conversations.
Their instant reaction to any approach is often to treat me like the enemy, trying to pull the rug from under them. They know reasonable conversation might break their spell. So I often spend time talking with them about unrelated stuff; what they do at the weekend, their job, then something that is peripheral to the dispute. Slowly rounding in on the actual subject matter. Starting to ask about legal advice that they've received, costs estimates, talking about the trial process if they are in litigation; the stresses and strains of it. Once we're to that point I'll start to talk about how the Judge might view the evidence, the witnesses, and then slowly start to reality test with them. I'm going to be honest. You can't reach everyone, sometimes the pain of the settlement is just too much for them to make the journey. But more often than not, we get there. They see that they need to resolve this, that the miracle is unlikely to happen. Who knows how Boris's drama will play out, but rather than a big deputation which arrived to see him last night, he needs close confidents talking with him about his next holiday before they start to broach the subject of doing the right thing. Comments are closed.
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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