Three hours to get to a settlement is tight at the best of times, and I was getting nervous as we were arranging the mediation as one of the parties seemed fragile. I was concerned. But I wasn't expecting the descent into a total emotional meltdown. The swearing, the statements that this had ruined their life, that their life was no longer worth living. And it went on and on. My heart went out to them. Every statement they gave was another reason to settle this matter and start to move on. But at which point did I have a responsibility to say that they were in no real state to make a decision with regard to settlement? So we spent a lot of time talking. We went through the effects of the dispute, in a lot of detail, and then I moved on to talk about the other options; what if they didn't settle this matter? What would they do?
That was the turning point. We stopped talking about the past, they started to look forward. As we went through the options, they realised that not only the pressures under each of those options would go on and on, they were likely to increase. And whilst initially the thought of each of those options caused more emotional outpourings, it then led into a settling inside of them, a calm. They started to think about settlement. They considered the latest offer and started to put together a counter-offer. The thought process was precise, the considerations were insightful, an internal confidence returned. We settled. But before we did they made a call to their colleague, they talked through the options, the basis of settlement. I felt comfortable that what ever had gone on, they were not settling just for the sake of it; they were settling because it was the right thing for them. But, boy, it was tough !! Comments are closed.
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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