It depends on the colour of your shirt. There is some great research around how our view of an opinion or a statement is massively influenced by who tells us it. And we’re not talking about the Devil or an Angel. We’re talking about people we just happen to see as ‘us’ or ‘them’. A group of strangers were randomly put into groups wearing different coloured T-shirts. After being tested to make sure they knew who was in their group, they were then shown statements read out by various members of the different groups.
They were then asked about their opinion of the statement and the person making it. Despite the fact there were no ties or similarities between the people wearing the same colour T-shirt, the opinion of a view given by someone wearing the same colour T-shirt were manifestly more positive – in fact the participants even thought people wearing the same shirt as them were more positive in general. It reinforces again the power of ‘us’ and ‘them’, the increased oxytocin levels that make us feel kinship and how our brain influences our view of the world and the people in it. Therefore an ‘easy win’ in any negotiation is to pick out the similarities between you and the other party. I wouldn’t necessarily dress identically, (although it might do no harm to mention it: “Ah I see you got the ‘Pink Shirt Tuesday’ memo too”) but if you converse with them then you can find out where similarities exist, from growing up in a similar area of the country to similar interests. The more similarities the more they may view you as ‘us’ and view your statements, your demeanour and personality, in a positive light. In mediation this can be more difficult. Apart from the opening session, where the parties are in the same room, they sit in different rooms, with me, as mediator, going between the rooms in a form of shuttle diplomacy. Hence I may find ways of bringing the parties together, to work on an issue together, to try to find out more about the common ground that exists. To actually interact. Obviously you've got to choose your people to let loose together, but as times of stalemate, when you know both want to settle but don’t know how, then if they can find a way of working together they may be more likely to find a way of seeing ‘them’ as ‘us’. And if all else fails? If I’m really desperate? Then I might just get them to both wear the same colour T-shirt !! Comments are closed.
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AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
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