I've just been listening to an interview with BJ Fogg about his research into tiny habits. He spoke about how amazed he has been to see tiny habits, those that start off really small, like flossing one tooth each day before working up to a full mouth, causes people to then make huge changes in their lives. His theory is that some success, no matter how small, gives us confidence and inspiration to make bigger changes. And that it changes our own stories, those we tell ourselves over and over again, the stories that can sabotage us, or build us up.
He even opines that the reason that "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour" is in the Ten Commandments alongside the big hitters like 'Thou shall not murder' is testimony to the power of a false story, about ourselves or others. And dealing with stories is part of what we do in mediation. The parties have built up stories about themselves and the other party. They have become truths within their mind, such as "They are untrustworthy and devious, whilst I am a victim and the innocent party". We spend a long time unwinding the stories, using neutral language, and applying blinkers to find out their true interests, not to merely compare their position with the other side. What stories do you tell yourself that harm your progress? What stories propel you forward to bigger and better things? Comments are closed.
|
Subscribe (below) to our free Newsletter for Negotiation Tips, Tricks and Training
AuthorRichard Marshall is an Accredited Civil and Commercial Mediator with over 25 years experience as a Litigation Solicitor, as well as being a qualified Solicitor-Advocate. He is the founder of Striving to Settle, through which he works as a mediator and provides negotiation training. www.strivingtosettle.co.uk Archives
August 2022
|
Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.
Your subscription has been successful.